The Circle Shrinks

Many people have told me that once you hit college your inner circle gets smaller. I didn’t believe them … how could it get smaller than it already was? Recently I’ve found they may have been correct.

In the summer before my freshman year I had multiple groups that I regularly hung out with. Some were more of a shut in introverted type, one that consisted of party animals, and another that were purely online. I never felt so connected in my life. Up until the point of actually saying goodbye to these people due to different college choices, I had never entertained the idea of my life without them. A few months passed by and I couldn’t even bring myself to text half of my old friends.

There was nothing wrong, it was just another chapter in each of our lives. They went off to build new relationships and experiences, and I just stayed the same old person. I didn’t have that personality change that some have their first year. Nor did I expand the circle that had just shrunk. If anything it was slowly shrinking around me, day after day I received less texts. I hung out with less people, and more and more acquaintances from highschool stopped even acknowledging me around campus.

I don’t blame these people, if anything I blame myself. I haven’t come out of my shell at all. The easiest way for me to meet people is in class and I can’t seem to bring myself to actually talk to anyone.

My sophomore year changed that. It was my geology 100 class and we needed to make a group of four. I had no friends in this class so I did what I normally did, spun my head and hoped that three other people did as well. Luckily my calls were answered and over the past semester I have, even if small, created a connection with these people. It doesn’t matter if it is just talking to my table partner or cracking a joke to the person behind me, I’ve found myself doing things that I didn’t dream of doing.

I don’t expect myself to change overnight. But I want to open myself up to things that can lead me to other people. My circle is still small and most of my friends are over the internet. But I hope that with how this last semester has gone, that it can start to change.